7 Habits of Highly Effective Homemakers

If you’ve ever wondered how some women seem to thrive in motherhood and homemaking while others struggle with the mental, spiritual, and physical demands of it, you’re not alone. I used to be an overwhelmed slob myself, but I met a man whose standards and expectations for his own life inspired me to want the same for mine. I decided to meet that challenge.

I eventually married him and gradually transformed myself and my life into something I’m proud of. Not because I’m perfect, because that doesn’t exist, but because I’ve faced my challenges and kept growing through them.

And I’m proud of how far I’ve come.

It didn’t happen overnight, and it wasn’t easy. It still isn’t. But I’ve discovered that this work brings deep meaning and contentment. What I’ve learned is that homemakers and mothers who thrive in their roles, rather than just survive, share certain characteristics and habits, even if they aren’t entirely aware of them.

I want to talk about those things because they’re not talked about enough, if at all.

Highly Effective Homemakers Put Themselves First

You can’t take proper care of your home, your children, your marriage, or your relationship with God if you are a shivering mess of a human being.

You just can’t.

You need to be properly rested, fed, and bathed. I don’t want to see any more videos of overwhelmed mothers crying in closets, saying they haven’t eaten or bathed in days. That isn’t normal. Stop trying to normalize it.

Stop treating this strange form of mommy martyrdom as something everyone must live through.

Putting yourself first doesn’t mean rejecting your child when they need you, and it doesn’t mean spending large amounts of time away from them. It means you are rarely in a frame of mind where you need to escape. It means you don’t dread playtime or daily interactions because you feel content and calm most of the time.

You’re receptive to them and actually enjoying motherhood.

My husband and I practice attachment parenting, so trust me, I don’t spend much time away from my boys, especially when they are babies.

You need to create an environment where you aren’t constantly overwhelmed or dissociating, doom scrolling, chasing cheap dopamine, snapping over small things, or crying as a regular part of your day because of stress and anxiety.

Related Article: Happy Homemaking & The Mother’s Dopamine Menu

It doesn’t happen through willpower alone or by saying “by the grace of God” repeatedly while your mental health and home life spiral. My mother used to say, “God helps those who help themselves,” and that phrase stuck with me since childhood, even though I didn’t fully understand it until recently.

The truth is, no one is coming to save you from the mess you’re in. You have to take the first step yourself, followed by a million small ones. And if you don’t, nothing will change. Actually, something will change—you will. You’ll slowly become the person you once swore you would never be.

The homemaker and mother need self-care. And self-care is not a green juice or a pedicure. Those things are nice, but they won’t fix your life. Motivation won’t either. It is one of the most unreliable things to depend on.

What we need is discipline and a real plan. This kind of change doesn’t happen overnight, but the longer you delay, the more time you waste. Take it from a lifelong procrastinator, you don’t have as much time as you think.

Prioritize Nutrition & Homemade Food

Everyone can cook from scratch almost all the time.

You can’t function properly if you’re eating poorly. Neither can your family. Real food matters more than most people realize, and when you feed your family from boxes and drive-thrus, you create a cycle of exhaustion and mood swings that affect everyone in the house.

Cooking from scratch isn’t about being fancy or performing some domestic ideal. It’s about survival and stewardship. You’ll save money, feel better, and gain a sense of control that most modern women have lost.

Start with what you already use the most. Replace it with a homemade version. Bread, broth, granola, yogurt, sauce. Learn one at a time until it becomes second nature. You don’t need to be a chef to feed your family well. You just need to stop making excuses and start using what you have.

Take advantage of meal planning, ingredient prepping, freezer meals, and slow cooker recipes.

When you cook real food regularly, your home takes on a different rhythm. This eventually becomes a routine part of your life, and before you know it, setting aside time to prep homemade kitchen staples will just be natural.

Wake Up Early

Most days I’m up before 6 am.

I start my day by doing nothing productive in the worldly sense. I don’t clean, cook, or check emails. Instead, I go outside to breathe fresh air and feel the sun on my skin. I pray and sometimes read.

I might take a hot bath or go into the hot tub.

After some time doing that, which depends on when my husband or children wake, I start preparing breakfast and a hot, fresh lunch for them to take to work or school.

If your children sense you getting up and wake immediately, and I’ve been in those stages of motherhood, just bring them with you. Give them something quick and nourishing, like a glass of whole milk, to hold them over. Practice quiet time together while you go about your morning routine.

This will depend on the ages of your children and their need to be near you. A mother with a newborn or a one-year-old may not be able to do this yet, and that’s okay. Have patience. Motherhood requires it.

This also depends on two important habits. Making sure your kitchen is clean and ready for the next day before you go to bed is the first.

And make sure you have a reasonable bedtime for yourself and your children.

It isn’t normal or healthy for children to be up late, and it isn’t good for you either. Of course, this can change for special occasions or seasons—children are quite seasonal. It’s easy to get kids in bed by 7:30 in the winter, but in summer, when the sun sets later, I want them to enjoy every bit of it.

We have a cozy bedtime routine, and after the children are asleep, my husband and I go downstairs for about an hour of quiet time together.

Have a Homemaking Schedule

This completely changed my life. I’m not the same person anymore because of it.

A homemaking schedule is an old-fashioned but highly effective practice that was discarded around the same time the word homemaker became something quaint or even shameful to call yourself.

But it’s a necessity. I’m convinced of that.

I’m updating mine as my babies grow into active children and as the seasons change, bringing new routines and needs. My daily rhythm must serve reality, not fight against it.

I have daily, weekly, monthly, quarterly, and semi-annual tasks written out. I print them on legal-sized paper, laminate the sheet, and post it somewhere I’m sure to be reminded of its existence.

Each day, I check off completed tasks. When my husband gets home, he can see what remains and jump in to help.

I never need to answer the question “What do you need me to do?” because it’s written clearly. My husband respects me and the work I do, so he doesn’t question what isn’t done—and I don’t take advantage of him either.

We also have our shared routines listed there, such as the children’s bedtime and our nightly family tidy-up.